February 18th 2019
What we have never quite worked out how to do is be relaxed in one another's company. No, really, hear me out. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's a stage in the relationship we haven't got to yet, and one that we will, inevitably, as time passes. It's because we see so little of each other that even after, what, four years together, we're still in date mode: that is, time together is specifically time together, not just time when the other happens to be around.
If I'm reading and she's around it's so I can share the thing I'm reading with her, if I'm watching something on a screen it's so I can share that with her, if I'm making something it's so I can show her it when I'm finished. Date mode. Maybe that is worth preserving, maybe it's unsustainable, I don't know. I've never done this before.
We share that feeling, we've often said it, that we don't know what this is and so we don't know how to hold it.
What we have never quite worked out how to do is be relaxed in one another's company. No, really, hear me out. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's a stage in the relationship we haven't got to yet, and one that we will, inevitably, as time passes. It's because we see so little of each other that even after, what, four years together, we're still in date mode: that is, time together is specifically time together, not just time when the other happens to be around.
If I'm reading and she's around it's so I can share the thing I'm reading with her, if I'm watching something on a screen it's so I can share that with her, if I'm making something it's so I can show her it when I'm finished. Date mode. Maybe that is worth preserving, maybe it's unsustainable, I don't know. I've never done this before.
We share that feeling, we've often said it, that we don't know what this is and so we don't know how to hold it.
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